To the Center of the City in the Night

Waiting for You

"There is a fifth dimension beyond that which is known to man. It is a dimension as vast as space and as timeless as infinity. It is the middle ground between light and shadow, between science and superstition, and it lies between the pit of man's fears and the summit of his knowledge. This is the dimension of imagination. It is an area which we call...Los Angeles"

Here I am 8 months later, I mean I think it's been 8 months now. This place seems to have a way of displacing time. I've been many places, and seen maybe things, some good, some gross. Quite a few wackies and some sane people. I've worked the comedy clubs as diligently as a beaver with a steak knife. I've become a regular at the HA-Ha Cafe in Hollywood. I know it sounds so Hollywood saying the word Hollywood. I've been hosting there for the past few weekends and it's been a blast.

Heavy Sleeper
On one particular weekend an interesting thing happened during my set. It was a packed house, I'm on stage, everything is peaches. I look to my left and in the middle of all these laughing people is a woman
fast asleep. I'm talking slumber, her legs up on a chair and everything. I stop mid-bit and just had to say something. "Um, is that a woman sleeping in the middle of a comedy show? Either shes dead or I'm terrible. Talk about killin em." I went on, milking it for every penny, the audience is going wild, but still she lay asleep. I proceeded to sing her a lullaby, and walk off the stage with the mic. At the end of the song she magically awoke to find and entire audience staring at her and laughing. Quite the shock, to which I ensued, "Good Morning" Needless to say the poor thing had one to many and sorta passed out. Drunks can do that ya know, pass out anywhere. I once passed out at a Rave club on a speaker.

Serial Joke Thief

On another night another interesting thing happened, yea. I'm not about hating on other comics, in fact comedians are like frat brothers, we love each other but then get into fights when we sleep with the same girl. Anyway, one night in walks this comic who we shall refer to as Dicky Kraps. Dicky walks in and is in a hurry. He has another set and needs to go up first, asked if the host could cut his opening set short so he can split. Form your own opinions I will say nothing more. So he gets on stage, I don't think he's bad at all, in fact pretty good. Later on I'm chatting with the other comics and they tell me this story about how Dicky Kraps was a Boston comic who got run out of town for stealing other comic's material. This I found revolting. After a little google-ing, I found an article about the story. It stated that a bunch of comics got wind that Mr. Kraps was stealing jokes. They confronted him in a green room at the back of a comedy club and from what I understand got his ass beat like a red headed step child on fathers day.

All I have to say is news travels fast comedy fans. Don't steal other peoples shit, it's NOT COOL. Fine some things are ok to steal like cable or ashtrays but not jokes. They are like our children, it takes years to raise them, they eat up all your sanity, and sometimes they spit up. If he takes one of mine I'm gonna call an amber alert on his ass.

Go for the Green

A few days ago I was picked to be a contestant on this new game show called, "Go for the Green", hosted by Tom Green. There were about 50 of us waiting outside on benches most of the day. So we got to know each other. Quite the cast of characters. One guy who we shall refer to as Stan, was a cool California dude who's overbearing enthusiasm and packaged personality quickly wore thin among the group. He would do things like stand in front of everyone to make sure he was in the shot and then say jokingly, "Am I in your way." A girl who was seated next to him for a short while stood up and said, "His testicles are just to big to be sitting next to him." After awhile people wanted to kill Stan but he wasn't the worst....well he was but their was this one guy who would just yell out inappropriate phrases at the most inappropriate times. We were in the studio with Tom Green and he just yells out, "Your not Dane Cook!" To which Tom Green replied, "Yes I am."

I actually appeared on TomGreen.com, at the end of a video clip called, "Go for the Green". Check it out and see if ya spot me.

Another interesting fellow looked very familiar to me, as if I've seen him before. Yes on TV, but where? We get to talking in a group and he says that he has in fact appeared on TV many times. Maury, Montel, the News. Apparently his girlfriend stabbed him 9 times in a public restaurant and he was dead for 2 minutes. He pulls up his sleeves to reveal the scars and explains that she stabbed him because he was breaking up with her. So remember kiddies, if your going to dump someone send an email.

Upcoming Appearance
Check me out on Fox fall'08 on a special called World's Greatest Magic Tricks Revealed. All I'm going to say is I'm the guy in the tuxedo hanging upside down playing the violin.


Peace LaZ
JustLaz.com

Some Music for your Reading Experience

Beautiful Strange

Signs of Life

2007 was the toughest year of my life. I conquered many personal goals and lost someone very close to me. I over came adversity and tumbled into wonderland. I made new friends and lost old ones. I moved across the country and realized home is in the heart. I don’t know where these new travels will take me; what I do know is that this can all be just a dream.

Mad Visions

I recently wrapped a TV pilot called Extreme Reactions, a reality comedy series. It’s got a great cast including Zak Williams (Robin Williams’s son). Produced for Lion’s Gate Entertainment its like Candid Camera meets Kids in the Hall and we are hoping it gets off the ground soon. Anthony Maddox (Producer/Director) was great to work with; he knows what he wants but lets you find the way there. Check out their website:
www.madvisionentertainment.com/

Jet Blue and only Jet Blue

Confession: I am a Jet Blue fanatic. If I have to fly for me there is no other way to go. The other airlines treat us like red headed step children compared to Jet Blue’s service. You not only get 36 channels of direct TV (umm hello) but they also serve (pause) Dunkin Donuts Coffee! The only thing better would be a Hooters Flight.
www.JetBlue.com/

Anyway, the point is that I made the big move. I now and for the time being live in Los Angeles. I was pondering the thought of changing this blog to “A LA Comic”; however since I do come from the east coast I shall strike the last thought from the record.

When I first moved here I felt like a fish out of water, which was strange since I am not a fish nor reside in water. After a month or so it is starting to feel like home. I love the weather, and yes it does rain from time to time. I can’t watch the discovery channel anymore because they always have earth quake specials on but I can go outside in a t-shirt. Exploring around my neighborhood, I found a cool little coffee shop, a book store, and a movie theatre. Not to mention and most importantly, a 24hr 7-11.

LA Comedy Nights

My first gig was in downtown Los Angeles, at this old hotel called The Alexandria. Opening in 1909 it was the meeting place for the early Hollywood elite. In its lobby it had a million dollar rug and tall marble columns, but no more. It was host to many swanky parties in its ball rooms with its huge stained glass ceilings, some of which are still there. Charlie Chaplin was a frequent guest and made the deals for the creation of United Artists there. It’s also one of the most haunted hotels in America, a fitting place for me to start. I was lucky enough to be introduced by Garrett Morris, one of the original cast members of SNL. It’s a great show check them out.
www.downtowncomedyclub.com/

Ari Spears of Mad TV and I outside the Hollywood Improv

I’ve been making the rounds to most of the local comedy clubs. I had a great experience at the Ice House. It was a rainy Wednesday night. On the way there I was certain the audience would be small if not minuet due to the weather. I don’t mind small audiences but that night they were taping the show for a website called Comedy Time. When I arrived the place was packed from wall to wall, not a seat in the house. The host was fantastic and I had so much fun with the audience. I’m looking forward to performing there again. Check out the video on my links.
www.comedytime.tv/


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To My Father

Its hard saying goodbye to someone you’ve known your entire life. You can’t help but search your memories and hold on to them as tight as you can. Wishing I could tell time to stand still or walk back with me for a while. Only now can I write about this. Still the sadness is overwhelming and the pain at the surface. Death changed the way I live.

Thank you for being my father. For all the advice and wisdom you bestowed upon me. For teaching me strength and kindness. For always being there when I needed you. For treating me like a son. For sacrificing yourself for your family. For showing me that life is worth living, to be brave, bold and always face forward. To never apologize for being who I am. You will always be a part of me.

“Life is just a game of chess”
PM 1944 - 2007
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Two Thousand & Eight

It couldn’t be worse than 2007 because the Giants already won the Super bowl. Go BLUE!!! That was the most inspiring game I’ve ever seen. I nearly overdosed on pizza and hot wings. After the game we ran outside and people were yelling and screaming. Doing flips and hugging each other. I think I saw a dog dancing with a cat. Still today over two weeks later you can walk down the street and just say, “Go BLUE!” and you will get a “Go BLUE!” back.

I predict 2008 will be beautiful and strange.

Today my heart Swings

Inspirational Comedy Set

Sometimes through the most unlikely of circumstances you find inspiration. You’re having a bad day, week, month, year and just when you think it can’t get any worse, God throws you a life line. Yes I believe in God :)

I got this gig in a bar in Bergen County, NJ. This bar is unlike any bar I’ve ever been to. It sits by itself like an anomaly in the middle of a secluded residential area. Just houses all around, children playing and white picket fences. It doesn’t even have a sign, just Bar. So the show starts, I don’t even think these people are aware that a comedy show is taking place. Slowly some people mosey their was into the room and sit down. I’m sitting at a back table, sipping on my ice water, thinking about my broken frig and how I have to get rid of it and buy a new one. How much are refrigerators anyway? Why does it have to have such a long name? Long name means it’s expensive. Shit.

The host announces the next comedian and I notice that this comedian had a half shaven head. Like one side of his hair was missing. So he introduces himself and says:

“I’ve recently had brain surgery, no this isn’t a fancy haircut, I had a fuckin tumor! You think I would wear my hair like this!?”

People bust out laughing, and he was funny. I realized everyone has got their problems, its how you deal with them that counts.

I've been encountering lots of interesting people lately. Once in a blue moon you meet someone who changes the way you think and you suddenly remember who you once where. You see what the world used to be like for you.

Engagement ala Sketch


Last night I was a part of something I shall never forget. One of my dearest friends who is also a comedian calls me up and asked me to be part of a very special comedy sketch. I was to play a waiter named, “Jew”, yea I know. The other characters were named Mary and Will. In the sketch we all lined up revealing our t-shirts that said, Will Jew Mary……and my friend says ME. He proposed to his long time girlfriend on stage in front of a packed house. The crowd went wild and it was very emotional. I wish them both all the best in the world. They make a beautiful couple.

Needless to say I was the next comic on the show. How the hell am I going to follow a marriage proposal? I mean how do you top that? The crowd was amazing though, they really enjoyed my performance and it felt awesome.

Show Updates
Don’t forget to check out my schedule on myspace for shows, events, and more.
www.myspace.com/twice77

This Sunday I’m hosting America’s Got Stand-Up at the Laugh Factory in Times Sqaure.

Summer of Screenings

The Cast of REWIND

At the tail end of the summer my film “REWIND” was in full swing and playing at three different film festivals. The NY International Film Festival, Film Night in the Heights, and the HBO Latino Film Festival.

The HBO festival was the biggest one and our film seemed to be getting buzz from the start. We were in good company though; the other films on the bill were all amazing with great young directors. Over several nights our cast got together and watched our film on the big screen, it was an awesome experience. Do people still say awesome?

On the night of the final screening, I’m waiting for my friend who was in the cast to come down from Pennsylvania Land and we got to the theatre 10 min late, maybe 15, 20 min tops. We walk in and the box office is closed, however there are two older ladies perched on chairs against the wall. One of them looks at me swaggeringly and says:

“Can I help you?”
“Yes I’m so sorry I’m late.”
“Are you here for the film festival?”
“Yes, may we still….”
“Do you have a ticket sir?”
“Yes…at the box office.”
“Uh Oh, the box office is closed so if you don’t have a ticket…..”

Out of nowhere, Mr. Chinchilla, the founder of the festival passes by and sees me. He points at me and says, “Aren’t you in that film, Rewind?” He was kind enough to let us in, pretty cool. I can still see the chilling look the women gave me in my dreams.

We ended up winning for Best Short Film at the 2007 HBO Latino Film Festival!!! Congratulations to the cast and crew of “REWIND”.

SPEECH! SPEECH!
“Well, I’d like to say that standing here on this cyber podium today, that I am very honored to have received this prestigious award. I would like to thank my mom, who has stuck by me, even the time I shaved off my own eyebrows because I thought it would come into style. I would also like to thank my father, for letting me live. In conclusion I would like to say that the war in Iraq is wrong and (MUSIC PLAYS) and Bush is a piece of…..(CUT OFF MY MIC)……………..Thank you.

Living in the Center of the World


I’ve been doing a lot of different types of jobs lately. Producer, Writer, Comedian, Actor, Extra, Promotional Person, Website Designer, Video Editor, Sound Editor, Audience Wrangler, Forklift Instructor, Motorcycle Pilot, Archer, Life Coach, and many more.

I love New York, there is always something different happening everyday. Where else can you find a job herding people to chairs while you watch the US Open on a jumbo size screen outside at Rockefeller Center, or carry a 40 pound television on your back while you take pictures of strangers. The last job I had was for NIKE, promoting their product throughout the city. They gave me this limited edition pair of Nike kicks that were based off the Transformers, killer! I was walking with my team around the village and I run into Mark Summers, from Double Dare, on Nickelodeon, come on people remember? Anyway he looked kinda old-er and was staring down at the floor as he walked but as soon as I said, “Hey Mark Summers”, he kicked into Double Dare mode and gave me a big HELLO! As a child one of my dreams was to get on that show and take the physical challenge.

One time I was talking on my cell phone not paying attention and nearly crashed into Matthew Broderick, hey he was doing the same thing and didn’t see me either. We both stopped suddenly and looked at each other as if to say, “oops” and walked our separate ways.

On my way to work the other day, I turn on 46th street and end up in a Brazilian Parade. There were so many people I could barely walk. They were waving flags, having food, and enjoying the floats as they passed by. I somehow end up behind the police barricade, on the street, in the middle of this parade. Now people are staring at me and some are cheering, so I just started turning and waving as I marched my way through to the next avenue. The funny part is this isn’t the first time I get stuck in a parade.

Only in New York…

COMEDY SHOW ALERT
Check out my Myspace page for future show dates!!!
www.myspace.com/twice77

Talk Amongst Yourselves

While I try to Figure it out.

I’ve always had this urge to hop in my car and just drive and drive until I don’t know where I am. To be a new stranger while I visit even stranger places. I think you adapt to your environment and eventually become what’s around you. Sometimes, though, you lose yourself. This doesn’t necessarily mean it’s a bad thing.

I recently was thrust in quite an adventure. A friend of mine told me about this comedy festival about to take place in Los Angeles. It’s called the Si TV Latino Laugh Festival, and so, being Latino myself I submitted for it.

Two days later I get a call from one of the producers of the show, telling me they are interested in me. Although interested, I had to show a little more leg and audition for the head of the festival in New York. The audition took place at Stand-Up New York, a good sized comedy club in the heart of Manhattan. I wasn’t nervous (yes I was) after all, they are already “interested”. If this were a date; all I would have to do now is play it cool, not say the wrong thing, and keep buying drinks. I went on stage and did my set. It was clean, it was solid, and it was funny. I was confident they would call me straight way……but they didn’t. After spending two weeks waiting for a phone call while throwing an inner tantrum, realizing all hope is dead, and staying up till 4am watching reruns of the Jefferson’s, they called. I was on my way to sunny L.A.!

Hollywood Land


I arrived in L.A. on a Friday morning. They actually had a car waiting. Wow. A car, an actual car, it was way better than the one I have at home. One of the comics I was traveling with wanted to stop and get Popeye’s chicken, which is fine, but at 10:30 in the morning? How could you eat that greasy ass, heart attack, beat up chicken that early in the morning?! It was pretty good though.

We get to the Renaissance Hotel. A real swinging place, right on Hollywood Blvd. Hotels excite me, they make me feel… clean. With no time to waste, I immediately went to my room and inspected the bounciness of my bed. It had an 8 out of 10 bounce factor. I mean it was fancy; they had an iron in the room and everything! I was lucky because from my hotel window; if you turned your head all the way to the left, and squished your face up against the glass, you could see the all magical “Hollywood” sign in the distance…on a clear day of course. Can someone tell me why their is a huge cross perched on a hill below the sign?


That evening we were picked up and taken to the opening party at Cinespace, a swanky bar a few miles away. After a few glasses of wine I was taken to the Improv Olympic West in Hollywood. Stepping into the green room I realized that a lot of these clubs and theatres hold a lot of the same energy as all the others. A sort of runaway tension wrapped in illuminated possibilities. Figure that one out.

Just after performing and just as quickly I would move on to the next show, spending the night observing interesting characters and seeking new opportunity. Meeting and greeting and exchanging information. Standing in a place I’ve never seen before and sharing my opinions on and off the stage. It felt great to explore and take in the atmosphere. The nights are beautiful in LA, the parking sucks but the night’s are beautiful.


Kodak Theatre Gala


The last night of the festival was the most memorable. We were invited to the closing night gala at the famous Kodak Theatre. I walked into the event and saw a big red carpet with lots of photographers taking pictures of the people walking by. I didn’t think I was supposed to walk the carpet until a P.A. suddenly grabbed me and pushed me onto it. I imagine the first few photographs they took of me were surprised and confused but I soon adapted and began to strike some posses. I liked it, made me feel….wanted.

A few minutes before show time I’m standing around in the lobby, just hanging out when I look up and see a bunch of people on the balcony, looking down at me. Who the hell are those people? Someone explains to me they are just random people who wanted to see what’s going on, fans if you wish. Sort of like armature paparazzi. So I waved to them, of course they didn’t wave back. I even thought I heard one of them whisper, “Who the hell is that?”

Carlos Mencia hosted the show and I have to say he did an awesome job. Even though their are plenty of rumors floating about of his joke stealing habits, I can’t knock the guy if I don’t know what he does first hand. All I know is that he was charismatic and impressed me with his performance that night. We were treated to a host of celebrity appearances and special guests. It was a great feeling to be in a room full of successful Latino talent. All working and doing it. It suddenly became real to me and gave me a new found motivation to do it for myself.

The show ended into an after party where I got to mingle. I took some pictures but then felt “Touristy” and “Un-Celebrity-Like”, so I put the camera away and just had a good time. I met many extra ordinary people and tasted a little bit of the good life.

Film Festival Mania!


The independent film I'm in called "REWIND" got picked up at three different film festivals including the HBO Latino Film Festival. Check out www.JustLaz.com for a film screening schedule.

I’m 1000 different people...

I KAN'T CHANGE

It’s been months upon months since I’ve updated this blog. One of the reasons for this is because I’ve been writing a feature length movie, so I’ve done all the writing I can take for the moment. My script is now finished and registered with the Writer’s Guild of America. Which makes sense since America is the country I wrote it in. More details about the script to come soon.

Lots and lots has happened since I last wrote. I re-joined modern society and got a job. I gave into the perils of commitment and moved in with my lady. Lastly, I have succumbed to the man and started paying for cable TV.

I’ve kept real busy. Been performing in comedy clubs, bars, restaurants, and lounges around New York & New Jersey. In May I have a gig at Fort Hamilton Army Base in Brooklyn.

So about my job. It’s great, much better than working for the yuppies. Damn those yuppies. Anyway, I got hired as a writer/web designer/producer at a very hip company in the heart of Manhattan. I work all the time. In fact the only time I’m not working is when I’m eating or sleeping but I love the work. I get to meet interesting people and not be confined to a small cubicle all day. Damn those yuppies!

ON THE SET OF REWIND

I just wrapped up a short film called “Rewind”. I played a thug named Pako who robs people around his neighborhood, nice right. Anyway the main character has the power to REWIND time, but only for a minute or two. Hopefully it will get into some film festivals and win some awards, I think it’s worthy of some. If I had the power to rewind time I’d mostly use it in the morning, to sleep in.

I’m also still shooting the independent feature film, “Playing Doctor”. It’s been a lot of over night shoots with trail mix and coffee but all the hard work will be worth it in the end. I’ve also made some really good friends in the process.

On Tuesday night I was invited to do a set at the Laugh Factory in Times Square. It was a LLEGAMOS show, the crew I used to role with. This was the first time I wasn’t in the show as a regular cast member, just a comedian and it felt strange. I got to see all of my good comic friends and they all asked me why I left the show. I said, “Nothing personal I just have too many irons in the fire right now”. Which is the truth. A comedian’s dream is to be able to just do comedy full time, a goal I’m working on. Anyway, I was up first and the crowd was amazing. They listened, they laughed, and they guffawed. I had a great set and the energy flowed like fine wine…from the old country. I hope to get in front of a big crowd like that more often.

EPILOGUE of THOUGHTS
What can I say? I feel like a different person every day. I think I have the Dr Jekeyl/Mr Rodriguez Syndrome. With an endless stream of lack of patience I look for peace. I need an I-Pod so that I won’t be alone with my thoughts for too long. This sounds depressing but I’m totally content, well at least partially. I can’t change who am I, no matter how hard I try. There are tons of things I want to type that are much more interesting than this.

BLOGenetics

Musica Musica

I just finished up another run of LLEGAMOS at the Laugh Factory to much success. I had the pleasure of meeting many musicals stars such as Frankie Negron and P-Star to name a few. P-Star is an 11 year old rapper who really has the skills of a professional. She rocked the audience with her charm & original music.
Check her out on MTV:
http://www.mtv.com/overdrive/?id=1531954

Singer, songwriter Frankie Negron was a pleasure to work with. He’s really down to earth guy and has a great sense of humor. He joined the LLEGAMOS cast in a few sketches that left the audience in tears and then serenaded the crowd with a tune from his new album “Mejor Que Nunca”.
Check him out at:
http://www.frankienegrononline.com/

New York Paranoia

During this run I wrote a sketch called, “The Underground”, based upon the experiences of riders on the New York City subway. The sketch is in three parts, the third part being about a Muslim looking man entering into the subway with a suspicious package. The entire sequence was wordless and played upon the audience assumption that all Muslims are terrorists. Which or course is not true but I find people’s paranoia humorous and apparently so do they.

Playing Doctor ~ Behind the Scenes

I’ve been filming a movie called “Playing Doctor”, for about 2 months now. I play the part of Fred, a conniving, sneaky, larger than life, pothead, antagonistic charlatan of a person. The shoots usually take anywhere between 10-14 hours, so it’s a lot of work but very good work. I really understand the director’s vision and have had so much fun doing it. Everyone is so professional and cordial to each other. Accept for one particular actor (theirs always one) which shall remain nameless. This person is just the opposite of everyone else and has thrown a few monkey wrenches into the production. Perhaps it was just too big an undertaking but never the less we are moving forward and the film looks like it’s going to turn out really great.

Stand-Up or Sit Down

Sometimes as an actor or stand-up comedian you come across certain situations that test your patience, integrity, and morals. I think it’s important that I share these situations on this blog, after all what the hell is this thing for anyway. However I also feel you should never bad mouth anyone because it’s a small business. With that said the following is a true story but the names, dates, and locations have been changed to protect my ass from getting shot.

Once upon a time I had a big show at a major club. It was a packed crowd with many of my own people in the audience. Ten minutes before show time the producer half heatedly announces that he will not use me as a stand-up comic in the show. He gave me no rhyme or reason, actually flexing his position as if he were showing off his muscles. I in turn immediately protested and spoke up. After much quibbling I was told in a very harsh manner that I was to be used as he saw fit and even though I was not getting compensated for all my hard work I had to still swallow this very bitter pill and not receive the stage time I was promised. So, I made a choice. The great thing about choices is that you can make them and no one can stop you. I made the choice to quit right then and their. I shall not be shaken or stirred. I shall not lend my skills as a writer and then lay down and be walked over. I am a Stand-Up Comedian, an angry, uncaged, unapologetic animal of humor put here by the theatre gods to infuse comedy chaos about the earth. Don’t tell me I can not!

Ten minutes after I left I got a phone call to please return and by golly I got my stage time. Not only did I get my time but I rocked the house harder than I ever had. So to any fellow up and coming comics out there I give you this advice.
Never Surrender!